Truly beautiful. I love these lines: "I always tell my readers that I’m a poet, not a preacher. I can’t solve the problem, but I can aptly name the ache." Stunning. Thank you for sharing.
IMO, true feminism allows women to be whoever they want to be. If that means being someone who gets botox, so be it. If it means being someone who doesn't get botox, so be it. The fact that these decisions are sometimes driven by a desire to be more appealing to men, or to avoid rude comments by others, serves only to prove that we don't live in a perfect world. I'm exhausted by people gatekeeping feminism and activism, judging ourselves and others by these puritanical standards rather than letting people be themselves and fuck up or make decisions we don't agree with but that also don't impact or harm us.
My comment is “who the fuck is this asshole,” lol. This guy sounds like an idiot. I’ve encountered a number of men who used “polyamory” as an excuse to cheat on women and treat them like shit. He sounds like one of those. Thanks for being honest ❤️
I think you are solving the problem by giving language to a feeling that I, and I'm sure many others, don't know quite how to pinpoint. When I started running again for my mental health earlier this year, there was overwhelming commentary about my build. My goal was to love the frame that has held me through grief, and to be asked how I was choosing to show up for myself. I didn't know how to articulate that, but I know I resonate deeply with the idea of it being such a process to choose love and grace over shame. Thank you for making me cry at my desk today (in the best way!) And I hope you can find some grace for yourself too. 🖤
I'm not a woman, so I cannot relate to much of what you wrote. However, as someone who had a pretty bad car accident that left me with a pretty big scar on my face when I was 16, I can relate to that feeling of looking at a mirror and not liking what I saw staring back at me.
It took me over 20 years to finally make peace with it. I wrote about it, if you're interested. And as always, thanks for your sharing your voice with us.
As I’ve been planning my 2024 wedding, I’ve found my brain focusing so much on beauty. Should I get Botox, when should I start facials, etc. My partner constantly reminds me that when we first met, I didn’t own any makeup or even wash my hair with shampoo. It’s nice to have support for the ways we change , and also nice to have someone to bring us back to ourselves when we need it 🧡
A perfect gift for naming and articulating that makes me grateful for the good luck to come across poets like you.
Also did you go out on a date with my ex? Ugh, haha.
Your smile and poetry always brighten my grey days. I struggle with things I don’t like seeing in the mirror too. But what if it was reversed and we were (by whatever ‘power’) deemed the ‘standard’. I wonder if that would be boring. But also feel sometimes it’s a relief to blend in?
And yet I personally love so-called ‘imperfections’ in others - what a joy to have dimension and story.
This speaks to me. Every day I massage my eleven lines and hope them to go away. I don’t want to dislike them but I do. Im equally afraid of Botox. I hate it!
Hey Joy, thank you for sharing your vulnerable moment and I strongly encourage you to check out the work of Jessica Defino (the Unpublishable on substack) who's a reformed beauty editor now on a crusade to dissect, examine and free herself from beauty culture.
I sympathize with having the desire to look older when I was younger. I thought that looking older would make more respected and safer from unwanted attention.
And then you can get to “older” and realize there’s a proper name for all the new features on your face. “no perfect feminism under patriarchy”. I love this. What a way to articulate the Work.
Truly beautiful. I love these lines: "I always tell my readers that I’m a poet, not a preacher. I can’t solve the problem, but I can aptly name the ache." Stunning. Thank you for sharing.
IMO, true feminism allows women to be whoever they want to be. If that means being someone who gets botox, so be it. If it means being someone who doesn't get botox, so be it. The fact that these decisions are sometimes driven by a desire to be more appealing to men, or to avoid rude comments by others, serves only to prove that we don't live in a perfect world. I'm exhausted by people gatekeeping feminism and activism, judging ourselves and others by these puritanical standards rather than letting people be themselves and fuck up or make decisions we don't agree with but that also don't impact or harm us.
My comment is “who the fuck is this asshole,” lol. This guy sounds like an idiot. I’ve encountered a number of men who used “polyamory” as an excuse to cheat on women and treat them like shit. He sounds like one of those. Thanks for being honest ❤️
I think you are solving the problem by giving language to a feeling that I, and I'm sure many others, don't know quite how to pinpoint. When I started running again for my mental health earlier this year, there was overwhelming commentary about my build. My goal was to love the frame that has held me through grief, and to be asked how I was choosing to show up for myself. I didn't know how to articulate that, but I know I resonate deeply with the idea of it being such a process to choose love and grace over shame. Thank you for making me cry at my desk today (in the best way!) And I hope you can find some grace for yourself too. 🖤
Ohhh, I’m so annoyed at man bun. But that last line. 🔥 Thank you for this very real vulnerability. ❤️
I'm not a woman, so I cannot relate to much of what you wrote. However, as someone who had a pretty bad car accident that left me with a pretty big scar on my face when I was 16, I can relate to that feeling of looking at a mirror and not liking what I saw staring back at me.
It took me over 20 years to finally make peace with it. I wrote about it, if you're interested. And as always, thanks for your sharing your voice with us.
https://isanchez.substack.com/p/acceptance
As I’ve been planning my 2024 wedding, I’ve found my brain focusing so much on beauty. Should I get Botox, when should I start facials, etc. My partner constantly reminds me that when we first met, I didn’t own any makeup or even wash my hair with shampoo. It’s nice to have support for the ways we change , and also nice to have someone to bring us back to ourselves when we need it 🧡
A perfect gift for naming and articulating that makes me grateful for the good luck to come across poets like you.
Also did you go out on a date with my ex? Ugh, haha.
Your smile and poetry always brighten my grey days. I struggle with things I don’t like seeing in the mirror too. But what if it was reversed and we were (by whatever ‘power’) deemed the ‘standard’. I wonder if that would be boring. But also feel sometimes it’s a relief to blend in?
And yet I personally love so-called ‘imperfections’ in others - what a joy to have dimension and story.
Thank you for sharing. We're all just out here doing our best.
This speaks to me. Every day I massage my eleven lines and hope them to go away. I don’t want to dislike them but I do. Im equally afraid of Botox. I hate it!
How you make me cry, Joy. Beautiful. Thank you.
I think you are perfect the way you are..with flaws, with Botox, with dents, with honestly. Thank you so much.
Hey Joy, thank you for sharing your vulnerable moment and I strongly encourage you to check out the work of Jessica Defino (the Unpublishable on substack) who's a reformed beauty editor now on a crusade to dissect, examine and free herself from beauty culture.
Changing what you can about your body in order for you to love yourself easier, it is not a bad thing. It is a tiny mercy.
I sympathize with having the desire to look older when I was younger. I thought that looking older would make more respected and safer from unwanted attention.
And then you can get to “older” and realize there’s a proper name for all the new features on your face. “no perfect feminism under patriarchy”. I love this. What a way to articulate the Work.
Thank you so much for sharing.
I don’t know what it’s like not to like your face.
But I know all too well what if felt like not to like your body.
It feels oddly similar.
The desire to fix yourself not for health but for human consumption.
Thank you for this reminder to continue to be gentle with myself.